Merry Christmas

Sorry I couldn't make decision for 2 desires to satisfy both sides. I somehow hoped we could enjoyed the moment like everyone else without an image to care for, without a reason to hesitate, but there was, unfortunately. Cause in the end, no one cared, for whatever that happened and everything that you felt.

Sorry that I provoked a feeling, complicated an emotion. I thought it will be better choice to have done that, I thought I could heal it but everything turned out just exactly the opposite. Maybe the whole idea was to mentally torture me as a revenge. Well, I lost to it. Totally. Nothing hurts more than purposely unanswered phone calls, cause then you'll find out you can never lie to yourself again.

It was a special occasion though. Special venue with a bunch of troubled kids hoping to get a glimpse of what it is like. I don't know how they felt, but for me, a Christmas wish came to me so strong that night, the same wish that I hang on the Christmas tree on Christmas Night. Though it's simple.

Merry Christmas.

The Special Door

At last I felt like there's something I've been anticipating for, something that is unusual, but in the end, turned up I shut myself out. Senses overcome courage though courage is fighting still. Imagination beyond reach can sometimes ruin me. Maybe that is what they call desires, in this case a special one. Everything remains unknown, like variables x and y. Perhaps it should start back at square one. But one thing I know, I somehow hope the door is not locked and I have the courage to grab the doorknob and open it and exit through a beautiful side. Feels like fairy tale but I somehow hope it gives me a small miracle. A special one. Can I?