Angel

So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn.
There's vultures and thieves at your back.
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies.
That you make up for all that you lack.
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time.
It's easier to believe.
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness.
That brings me to my knees.....

Dance The Grace

Some people can see a desert of roses, but I can only see a field of corpses. I was born fragile, made breakable. I can't survive a blunt arrow. I can shatter with a simple evil touch. I have the courage but not the strength, because I thought there were us, all of us, but now I know there was only me all along.

Still, I hope you dance. All of you. Because it compensates what's lost from all of you, it brings you colours you never thought they exist, and it satisfies my little selfishness. So I hope you dance, all of you.......... I'm sorry I disappointed all of you.

So Called Chaos

You may shake the tree and the buds may fall, but I hunger for more. Perhaps the puzzles are in place, but I mind the lines. I'm way off my comfort zone now, I don't even recognize where it is already. I need a map to show me a route to it, then I may again regain what's lost. At least I hope so, when September ends.

Life

I am rigid but hollow. I thought life was always easy. I thought I just have to go through everyday like any other days. I thought life was created for us and we are the dominants.... but that was not even close. When we couldn't feel love, we felt life. That's what I was taught. Life was created for us to fit in. But the funny question is are we manipulating our lives or the other way round? I am manipulated.

Have you ever felt empty? I did. Something I couldn't expressed why. Sometimes I hope people understand. Somehow I hope they ask, no matter who, as close as those being beside me or even further away. Because it makes me feel better. Because it shows they care. But will I tell if they do? I don't know. Cause I keep things, even the smallest matter sometimes. Maybe that is why people stopped asking. I'm being ironic, ain't I? I hate myself.

I don't know what happened anymore. I'm fallen. We tried but still, nothing seemed to work out right. I'm just praying it gets better, that the wounds can heal, cause it kills you softly everytime you look at it. I'm praying, praying still.....

8 Facts About Me

1. I'm easily forgotten. To put in a more cruel way will be I'm sometimes invisible or easily get left behind.

2. I don't eat alone. As in I don't like to. Rather skip meals if were to eat alone.

3. I'm moody sometimes mostly because I'm upset or disappointed with myself.

4. My presence in a crowd alone makes me insecure. I'm afraid of being alone. I'm scared of loneliness.

5. I do not have the guts to approach others and i hate myself for that but it makes me grateful if they approach me in return.

6. I'm afraid when communication is getting lesser but mending it is my weakness.

7. People tend to compare me with others, and most of the times, I lost.

8. People find it hard to start conversations with me because I suck in starting conversations. I somehow hope people can start conversations with me without difficulties.

Gosh, wish I'm a better person!

Banned?

Happiness can be devastating, loneliness can be bliss, a different kind of bliss..... I thought they knew well, but no one did.... Maybe they did, just something less important was more important.

Some people are born Mr./Ms. Popularity. Some are made one. While some, thanks to surroundings & environment, are seen like one. Sometimes you look at them and your judgement take over the facts that perhaps no one will know but himself. I'm wondering if I'm one, worse perhaps. I've seen someone, with the highest consideration possible, being hated to the ground. I'm confused already, maybe this is how the wheel is supposed to spin, whether you like it or not.

I'm sorry I have the bond I cannot compromise. Cause I think you have yours too, just it's still buried deep inside of you, controlling you without your own conscience. Everyone has their own perspectives on certain things, but we can never decide which one is wrong or right. I do believe both have to exist at the same time. Sorry if you disagree.

Lately I've been thinking, I've earned lots of them, lost more, saving more but saved few. By simple calculations, I'm now negative. Maybe I'm born this way and I hated it. I'm never prior and I made myself even less than that. The world is so big but there isn't a place for me to fit in. Can't I fit in? Can I?

And to think that I lost my keys to my door, that I flunk my own confidence, it just sucks.

Just A Little Bit More...