The Special Door

At last I felt like there's something I've been anticipating for, something that is unusual, but in the end, turned up I shut myself out. Senses overcome courage though courage is fighting still. Imagination beyond reach can sometimes ruin me. Maybe that is what they call desires, in this case a special one. Everything remains unknown, like variables x and y. Perhaps it should start back at square one. But one thing I know, I somehow hope the door is not locked and I have the courage to grab the doorknob and open it and exit through a beautiful side. Feels like fairy tale but I somehow hope it gives me a small miracle. A special one. Can I?